He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just pee around me
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
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