um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize