Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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