This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
