i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
