I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
