last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
