Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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