She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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