I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
