My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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