last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
