dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
