I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Randomize
