i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize