two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
