Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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