Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
