Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
