Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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