In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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