I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
