Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
