Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
