what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
