Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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