all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
