she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
