oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
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