I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
