Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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