We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
