you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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