i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
