We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
