Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
