True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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