Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
