I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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