KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize