let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
