I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
