he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
