I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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