Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
