??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
id be glad to
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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