I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
