At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize