it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize