There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
two words...techno handjob
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
