I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
