i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
