Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
