sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
