NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
He kissed a someone with a penis
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize