what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
