O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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