we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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