i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize