I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
