Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
