end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
